1)
“Not at the moment, Wolf. Can we get out of here?”
“As soon as we’ve replenished my magic, our food, and our drink. If Palonder’s going to do his catching up, he’ll need to keep his strength up.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 23, 2019
2)
“Or find someone helpless to catch up on.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 23, 2019
I rode a dainty little blue unicorn
To a warm and placid lake of honey
But my telling of that ride met with scorn
And the sane folk in town started looking at me funny— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 13, 2019
The princess seduced a high priest anointed
But in the morning rose and left him, vastly disappointed
Over tea she pondered seducing another
But switched to sailors on the advice of her mother— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 13, 2019
Obey the King and stay well clear of the Queen
And it may be years before you’re in your grave so green— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 14, 2019
2)
“I may have to enspell you into looking like a—sample—prostitute in a hurry. ‘Wanton slut strut’ and ‘simper’ are the requisites to making the disguise convincing. Some politicians never realize that.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 26, 2019
4)
“Of course. But we’re HIGH-CLASS prostitutes.”
3)
“You’re saying politicians are really prostitutes?”
“If they accept coin or gifts from anyone, yes. Though far too few of them have mastered the art of happy finishes.”
“Er, are courtiers like us politicians?”#epicfantasy “Uh…I see.”
“Not yet, but you will. The first time you modify the enforcement of a policy because of inducements.”
“You’re describing utter corruption.”
“A strong term.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 26, 2019
5)
“I didn’t hear a denial there.”
“See you a king as an audience? Or an angry mob?”
“No.”
“And there you have it. Veracity is mutable, you’ll learn, and masterhandling communications is all.”
“Cynic.”
“Pragmatist. It sounds better.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 26, 2019
1)
[A din suddenly arises in the Keep. Much shouting. Palonder looks at Wolf.]
“Yes, Palonder, that’s the King.”
“How can you tell?”
“The roars of ‘How DARE you?’ Only kings—and sheltered duchesses and commoners’ wives—do that.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 28, 2019
2)
“The rest of us know the world better?”
“Exactly. Stand back.”
[Wolf casts a spell, there’s a big BOOM and lots of green smoke with sparks in it, and when it thins enough, six hitherto-hidden doors in the outside wall of the…#epicfantasy 3)
…Keep can now be seen, because they are now all standing open. Amid all the cracks now crisscrossing the wall.]
“Lord Wolf? If you can do THAT, why didn’t you just blast the Keep open in the first place?”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 28, 2019
4)
“Palonder, how do you think I have any FUN in life?”
“But…but…”
“And what else do you think life is FOR?”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 28, 2019
In battle he slew hundreds, leaving in his wake the dead piled high
Each corpse a bed for a fresh one piled on top of it
Soon those who disagreed with him were heaped unto the sky
And the flies gorged on blood, and drank every drop of it— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 27, 2019
The treasure gleams bright in many an eye
Of both the slayer and the slain
For the greedy and gullible so easily die
And soon only their bones remain— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 28, 2019
The prince reached out and in vain did shout
As the tomb door in his face was slammed
Then silent as stone he sank down alone
Shut in to die with the dead and the damned— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 29, 2019
These adventurers think they’ll become rich lumber barons, but this forest belongs to the elves
But I’m stupid and craven, and they’re bold heroes—so let them find that out for themselves— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 29, 2019
1)
“So—and I ask this respectfully—you’re a hedonist, then, Lord?”
“I would see the term ‘manipulative bastard’ as more accurate. I take more pleasure in steering others and altering the world than in sensual personal satiation.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 28, 2019
2)
“I…see.”
“Right now, Palonder, it would help if you saw all you could peer through all of those open doors, in swift succession. Do any of them offer views of the King, Chantratha, or piles of gold and gems?”#epicfantasy 3)
“Er…looking now, Lord. I take it this is ‘betray shabby scale of values again’ time?”
“Correct. You’re going to make a superb career courtier. If we survive and if the last of your scruples don’t.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 28, 2019
1)
“Lord Wolf! The foe, coming out of Door Number Six! At least a dozen soldiers, armed and armored and looking unfriendly!”
“Very well.”
[BOOM]
“None left standing, now, Lord.”
“You sound hurt.”
“Just shaken. The result of…#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 29, 2019
3)
“Urrk!”
2)
…being knocked down by this leg.”
“Ah. Untidy of me. Well, don’t toss it aside, man. I have magic, remember? I can retrieve an appropriate book of recipes. Haven’t had roast leg of soldier in years.”#epicfantasy “Now, DON’T vomit, Palonder. I’m not in the mood for soup.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 29, 2019
No mind can plumb the deathly terror
That lurks coiling in this mansion’s umbral dark
Realtor after realtor makes the same error
Of thinking they’ll come in and not go mad, stark— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2019
I hearken to my king’s commands
Wherefore my hands are often red
But they are not yet traitor’s hands
All such crumble, for they are dead— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2019
And yonder is where the queen’s army did retreat
When but six still rode, so fierce was the fray
And it had long been clear who would win the day
O, that those wounded steeds had still been fleet— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2019
