I wonder if you’d care to indulge another of my sociological curiosities? I feel like I saw this partly answered before, but a browse of
@CandlekeepSite
came up null.
Please, what is dating/courtship like in Cormyr? Does it vary much common/common vs noble/noble 1/2Or common/noble? Vs other Heartland areas? Sword Coast?Too, personal interest given I can’t play a het char to save my life, is there anything stands out if the couple(or moresome) are same gender ID?
Again TY SO MUCH not just for the FR but for its outstanding inclusivity
— 🌈Jaye🦄Em🌹Edgecliff🏳️🌈 (@jayeedgecliff) November 15, 2020
1)
You’re very welcome! I want the Realms to be a place in our minds where we can all feel welcome, a place where (when not facing the perils of adventure) we can relax, and feel at home.
Courtship/dating varies widely from place… 2)
…to place, social standing to social standing, races (e.g. dwarves different from humans; dwarven courtship is heavily based on “toiling on something together,” be it forge-work or mining or mapping and exploring), wealth, … #Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
3)
…and local customs. In general, formal rituals of courtship matter most among nobility and “wannabe nobles,” either wealthy or well-to-do, who take refuge in social order (as cementing our place on top, or at least in the… 4)
…“comfortable superior strata”). For everyone else, courtship is far more a matter of ‘make it up as we go along.’
The Realms is far more tolerant than our real world “North American modern” when it comes to same gender, trans…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
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…or fluid gender, and expressions of intimacy (hetero guys may kiss and not just hug and no one “looks askance”).
And because arranged marriages in any Realms culture or race tend to end up with more unhappy unions than happy… 6)
…ones, just about everyone expects people to “grow into a partnership” by living or working or traveling or adventuring together for a time, before a formal wedding (in the Realms, being chaste before marriage is a personal…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
7)
…choice or preference, influenced by how parents feel, but it’s regarded as no one else’s business, at all, clergy included).
Among nobles and farmers, because marriage and offspring are so important an element in inheritance…8)
…(keeping land and owned buildings “in the family”), formal marriages are important, and “formal, socially trumpeted” courtship is also important. Which means there are expected steps, like “being presented” at Court to signal…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
9)
…that someone is “officially available.” And that also means there are established UNofficial, behind-the-scenes “getting to know one another” back-channel routes for getting to know someone, like going on a hunting tenday as… 10)
…a guest at one of the royal hunting lodges in the King’s Forest (same or different genders), or being a tenday-guest at the country estates of a noble family.
In Waterdeep and Athkatla and other Sword Coast ports, not to…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
11)
…mention trading cities like Scornubel and Silverymoon, various clubs take the place of hunting lodges and country mansions (unless you’re in the interior of Tethyr); they are the “mixers.” And formal courtship largely takes… 12)
…place at feasts and revels held during local annual festivals.
For a noble, formal courtship may include dancing with someone in front of their family, then dancing with various family members (and enduring their queries or…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
13)
…judgments/revelations of their personal expectations of the suitor, during the dance), then going on a hunt together (and, yes, there have been “hunting accidents” where disapproving family members frighten off, disable, or… 14)
…even “take care of” an unwanted suitor).
The only thing that really stands out for same-gender couples in courtship is buying underwear and everyday tools/flatware/“little things” for each other; differing-gender couples tend…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020
15)
…to confine such gifts to scents, books, and hats and cloaks.#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 15, 2020