1)
“Lord, Lady, and Sire, there’s a room ahead. That multiple passages run off of. So perhaps we could continue this spirited, entertaining, and utterly pointless bandinage at some later time?”#epicfantasy 2)
“Spoken like a true carefully obsequious courtier, Palonder. In short, you’re a natural.”
“In time my excitement will fade, Lord. I shall endeavour to master it then.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 9, 2020
1)
“HOY! Patrol Fourscore And Six! What’s all that noise?”
The shout is from some distance, so Wolf smiles and shouts back, in a voice coarsely not his own, “Thraeven broke the lantern. Sir.”#epicfantasy 2)
“Gods SPIT! AGAIN? Well, you’re just going to have to stand there and stand guard in the DARK, until Hardunkynd relieves you! And let that be a lesson to you!”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 6, 2020
3)
“Can I go visit HIM and his fellow dunderjacks, Wolf?”
“Chant, whence this sudden bloodthirstiness? No! We head THAT way. And keep your voice DOWN. They’re all around us, now.” 4)
“I’m rather counting on that,” Chantratha replies, in a silky voice that makes the King shudder again.#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 6, 2020
Wolf unhoods the lantern. The room is awash in gore and sprawled dead soldiers. Chant doesn’t appear to have any blood on her, and she’s smiling sweetly at the King from across the room.
“About that raise? 2)
She holds up a needle-dagger beside her smile. There are two fresh-dripping human eyeballs skewered on it.
The King shudders, but he’s not the crowned head of Neverune for nothing.
He shakes his head. “Not my preferred cuisine.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 5, 2020
I’ve always wanted to be a king
I think I’ll start right now
But lacking birthright or destiny or a magic ring
How will I find me a throne? How?— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 2, 2020
A king is used to trouble and strife
But kinging it is a lonely life
Without a loving wife
So I got me one
A fallen nun
Now rebellion at Court is rife— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 6, 2020
2)
“We’ll discuss that in a moment, Lady. I and this trusty young man here are what’s left of Patrol Six, this short man has been down in the dungeon cells so long he’s gone off his head and thinks he’s a king, and—”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 1, 2020
3)
“DON’T listen to him! I AM the King of Neverune! I AM!”
“Gone off his head is putting it politely, I’d say. Shut up, you! And what of the…Lady, did you call her?”
“Do you DOUBT that I’m a lady, soldier?”#epicfantasy4)
“Oooh, a HIGHCOIN doxy! What knows how to ROLEPLAY, and all! Haven’t had one of THOSE in a while, have we, lads?”
“Wolf?”
“Go ahead, Chant. TRY not to get blood on any of us; it eliminates so many of the easier lying excuses.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) March 1, 2020
A wizard’s apprentice must be a fool but have a brilliant brain
So I’ve spent years searching many a castle
For a suitably clever vassal
But found only prudent dunderheads, again and again— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) February 29, 2020
1)
“Wolf, you’re an unutterable CAD.”
“Flattery isn’t going to make me wait while you go back and murder six enemy invaders, Chant. But keep it up. I love it.” 2)
“Ahem.”
“Yes, Palonder?”
“As entertaining as this converse unavoidably is, may I point out, Lord and Lady, that there’s ANOTHER lit lantern ahead?”
“Perhaps this lot will notice you’re a woman, too.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) February 29, 2020
3)
“Don’t sound so hopeful, Your Majesty. It makes you leer. And when you leer, you look even more hideous than usual.” 4)
“Er, Wolf? Do you think you can give the Lady here some instruction on flattery? When it comes to kings, she doesn’t seem to be very good at it.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) February 29, 2020
1)
Sullenly the six soldiers let Wolf and his companions pass.
When they’re around the next corner, Chantratha asks suddenly, “Can I go back and offer myself to them, Wolf? Do we have the time for that?” 2)
“For you to kill them all, painfully? No.”
“But they have swords, and armor, and lanterns and all.”
“For us to pose as invading soldiers, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“Chant, how many women and kings d’you think the invaders brought along?”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) February 25, 2020
3)
“Look, I just need the flimsiest of excuses.”
“Because they noticed you were a woman, and decided to behave as soldiers always do when in enemy territory?”
“YES.”
“But Chant, you ARE a woman. We can’t deny plain truth.” 4)
“You call THAT logic?”
“No, I call it good enough justification. We’re in a HURRY.”
“Oh? Why? Our graves will wait for us.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) February 25, 2020
