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Matt Mercer DM Tips: RPG Etiquette!

and dungeon masters alike. Today we’re going to be
discussing a very interesting topic: player and

game master table setting and etiquette.

[trumpet fanfare]

I have questions often about this, inter-player
and game master or dungeon master relationships,

and dynamics there, and I think this would be a
cool discussion to have. First and foremost,

many RPG campaigns and systems are very different.
Your experience at one table with one GM is going

to be wholly different from another, even in the
same system. I think before you start or join a

game, everyone should be up front and discuss
about the play style. Have the GM talk with the

players. Is he expecting to create it more RP
heavy, more role playing heavy? Do you want to

make it more combat heavy, more of a balance
between the two? Is it going to be created into

more of a Diablo style dungeon delve, kill stuff,
get loot, or is it going to be more about

political intrigue, and dealing with the
overarching political climate of a kingdom or a

space adventure? Is it a very high power campaign?
Is it a low power campaign? Is it a note taking

mystery campaign? These are all the things you
want discuss at the top of creating this game with

your players, so that everyone is on the same page
about expectations. There will be some players

that will be into it for some elements, and others
that will be disappointed if, five sessions in,

they didn’t get at all what they wanted out of
this experience. Being up front about it is a

really good way for you all to make sure you
understand each other and if you have any

discussions about those tweaks in the future, at
least you have a basis to build those discussions on.

Players, be respectful and appreciative of your
game master and dungeon master. They take a lot of

their free time to create this world and this
experience for you to enjoy, sometimes

thanklessly. When you’re at the game, when you’re
present at the table, best to your ability, listen

and be attentive, and acquiesce to your game
master’s judgement. I’m not saying don’t have fun,

don’t forget your snacks and stuff, but for the
most part when you’re in the moment, when you’re

in the game, try and pay attention, try not to
distract from the moment at hand and be attentive,

because they put all this time and energy into it,
it’s the least you can do. With that said, don’t

be afraid to debate a rule with your game master,
or clarify something they may have forgotten, but

just remember ultimately the GM does have final
say, and they may alter elements of the system or

of the rules to fit their story, their world, and
that’s how it is. Don’t get too argumentative on

those aspects. If it really bothers you, you
can take him aside after the game and talk about

it, and try to come to some sort of an
understanding. Communication is the key, in most

things in life, this definitely being one of
those.

Share the spotlight with your party. There will be
moments and stories where your character will

become the focus, and you will be hoisted into the
center of attention, and that’s fine and embrace

that. If it consistently becomes that, and you
begin pushing the rest of your party out of the

way, and you take charge and you want to be the
answer to every solution, it can get a little

boring. If everyone else is like, “no, you’re
cool. You’re the leader. You talk. You’re the face

man of the group,” that’s different, but you want
to make sure that you allow the other players to

shine as well. This is a classic rule for stage as
well. You don’t want to upstage anyone. You want

to let everyone have their moment in the light,
make sure that everyone has an opportunity to be

part of this story you’re all creating together.
If you ever feel like someone in your game is

doing that, once again, after the game, take them
aside and talk to them. In a very respectful, very

warm way, let them know, “we’re starting to feel
you’re starting to take the spotlight a little

away. Just be aware, we want to play too, if
that’s cool.” Sometimes people do it without

even realizing it. Even just having that
conversation fixes the problem. Not always, and

sometimes when that happens, you know, either the
GM has to step in and have a conversation, and if

it gets really bad, sometimes players have to
leave the game. It happens all the time. But all

of you are putting your time and attention towards
this, you want to make sure that everyone is at

least working together to make it as fun as
possible. If it seems that you’ve unintentionally

commandeered the game, be open to feedback. Don’t
take it personally, don’t have a bruise to your

ego because somebody gave you a note after the
game about being maybe a little too heavy on

taking the game in your own hands. Just listen to
it and say, “okay, I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I’ll

be more respectful of that in the future.”

GMs, DMs, also be respectful and appreciative.
Your players are the life’s blood of your world. They

are the ones that make this story that you wrote,
and bring it to life, and play it through, and

they hang onto your every word, and they’re
essentially letting you scoop them up and take

them into your imagination, and that’s a lot of
trust there. Plus they’re scheduling their real

life around you and trying to make sure that they
can be part of this experience, so be respectful

and appreciative of that aspect, that they’re
putting their own side in this as well. Show equal

attention between players, even if one player
tends to be a heavier role player than the others,

don’t feel like you the just only focus on them.
Some people can start off a little shy, or

especially if they’re new role players, they may
not know how to really engage directly, and so it

helps to coax them. Have an NPC directly refer to
them and give them patience and let them find a

voice for their roleplaying character. It may take
some time, but make sure that you’re at least

trying to split your attention between the
players, best to your ability.

Be open to being corrected and to gaining
feedback. You’re the game master. You rule the

world. You are the god of this whole experience,
but you’re not infallible. We all make mistakes. I

make mistakes constantly. And feedback only helps
you to improve your narrative, to help how you run

the game, and being corrected sometimes helps you
better understand the rule system that you’re

running. You have a lot in your brain, a lot that
you’re constantly having to focus on, and

remember, and keep notes on, and keep working
together, and working towards long and short

narratives. You have so much in your head, you’re
bound to forget some stuff. Don’t be offended

or frustrated if a player corrects you with a rule
or something like that. Be thankful, because that

just means that you probably have a better chance
of remembering it in the future.

Players, GMs, be respectful of each other. Work
hard and discuss if there’s any weirdness going on

at the table, and work it out to the best of your
ability. Because we’re all there to have fun,

we’re all there to have a great experience
together, and I think following a lot of these

little guidelines should help maintain that quite
nicely. Thank you so much for watching. I hope

this has been somewhat helpful for your GMing and
playing experience. You can see more of these

videos on geekandsundry.com and I’ll see you
around.

 

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