1)
“Stop wetting yourself, lad, that’s no dragon!”
“Oh? All right then, I’ll—eeeeeAAAAAAGH!”
“It’s a wyvern, lad, and when they bite yer head off, yer just as dead as if a dragon did…bah, too late.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
2)
“So, Scaly, he do for yer meal this week? I can arrange to have another young dolt hereabouts next time…oh, the horse, too? Fair enough. Yer a growing wyvern, I get that an’ all…”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
1)
“It’s going to be a magnificent castle, Your Majesty,” said the Grand Vizier, as they stood looking down from the cliffedge. The worksite below was a busy anthill of scurrying workers, stone blocks being fitted everywhere,…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
2)
…and groaning wagons bringing more from the masons’ quarry.
“Too slow and too expensive,” the king growled. “Why, in my father’s day…”
“We still had slavery.”
The king rumbled a curse under his breath. Then brightened.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
3)
“Prisoners. Can’t we use prisoners from our dungeons?”
“We’ll have to feed them enough that they can work—a new expense—and we’ll need a lot more of them,” said the vizier.
“So make me new crimes, and start arresting!”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
4)
“As you command. But prisoners don’t pay taxes. Less coin coming in.”
This time, the king’s curses were loud and long and eloquent. “Why do the gods TRY me so? Surely there’s an easier job than being a king!”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
5)
“Tomb guardian,” said the vizier, “but you have to be undead for that. And not easily bored.”
“What if I went mad, and stopped building yon castle RIGHT NOW?”
“An option, to be sure, but it emboldens traitors, and darkens…”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
6)
“…your reputation.”
“So?”
“So if you do it, go all the way: become a ‘Mad King’ and do all sorts of erratic and often cruel and violent things, and so become feared.”
The king brightened again. “I LIKE it. Any drawbacks?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
7)
“Well, yes. You’ll need a good strong castle…”
The king’s oaths were truly impressive this time. The vizier hadn’t anticipated their culminating in hurling viziers off cliffs. But viziers can’t anticipate everything.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
1)
“Met Morlian in the market today. He’s CHANGED. Black robes, black eyeshadow, STARING eyes. He wouldn’t speak to me; just sneered and turned away. All grand flourishes and swirling robes.”
“Uh-huh.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 7, 2018
2)
“And his belt was fairly BRISTLING with scepters made of glued-together bones, topped with squirrel skulls or some such.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Kalasper, how can you be so CALM? He was CREEPY; I’m worried!”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 7, 2018
3)
“Don’t be; there’s nothing you can do. He’s entering his dark lord phase. He’ll have a go at ruling—or remaking, or destroying—the world, with lots of cackling. Always a mistake, the cackling.”
“What?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 7, 2018
4)
“Aye. It attracts the attention of adventurers. Some band of them will foil him and slay him messily, and that’ll be it. Unless he comes back as an undead mage and tries again, with better sound effects this time.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 7, 2018
1)
“Is it treasure-finding instructions?” the thief asked eagerly.
The sage looked up at him rather sadly. “Did you find it atop bones, perchance?”
“Well, yes. The whole chamber was full of bones.”
“Human?”
“Human.”
“Umm.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 19, 2018
2)
“Well? What is it?”
“This,” the sage told the ring of eager adventurers’ faces, “is a gravestone.” He pointed at the cryptic glpyhs. “This is Auld Low Merelander. And it reads: …#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 19, 2018
3)
Sometimes You Eat The Wyvern/And Sometimes The Wyvern Eats You.”
“But the second bit, scratched along the bottom; what does THAT say?”
“That’s in Low Draconic, the tongue of many wyverns. It reads: Needed More Salt.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 19, 2018
4)
As the explosion of profanity died down, the sage added wearily, “Not that sort of salt. Pay me my fee and go find another stone with glyphs on it, and perhaps you’ll enjoy a better result.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 19, 2018
1)
“This is the spot where all the dungeon maps just stop,” said the cleric, peering around the room rather warily.
“So that’s why you made me go first,” the thief snapped. “THANK you.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 20, 2018
2)
The cleric shrugged. “Merely professional courtesy.”
“WHO DARES PROFANE THE HOLY PLACE OF YOROCH?” The voice was thunderous, and came from everywhere.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 20, 2018
3)
“He does,” said the thief quickly, pointing at the cleric as he leaped back out of the room.
“Noooo!” shouted the cleric—as holy fire crashed down from the ceiling and immolated him.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 20, 2018
4)
The thief shrugged, as the flames died away and the pillar of ash that had been the cleric toppled into a heap of flakes. “Merely professional courtesy.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 20, 2018
1)
Bloody and winded, the adventurers leaned on their weapons and gazed in battered satisfaction on the hacked corpse of the giant snake. It stretched as long as three coaches, and was very, very dead. Finally.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
2)
“So, no treasure anywhere in this cavern, none in its guts, and we rescued no one from its evil coils,” the dwarf grunted. “Tell me again why we did this?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
3)
“Snakeskin’s valuable back in the city, and just look at all that meat,” the thief replied. “We’re going to be eating roast snake for days.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
4)
“No,” said the elf bowman. “YOU’RE going to be eating roast snake for days. I know where it’s been. And who it ate.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
5)
The thief regarded the bowman in disgust. “Views like that bid fair to ruin our internal economy.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
7)
The dead snake quivered.
“Happy undead munching,” the dwarf amended.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 21, 2018
1)
“Behold,” the hired bard guide declaimed grandly, waving one arm in a great roundhouse flourish at the frowning castle behind him, “the Palace of the Chalice.”
“Doesn’t look very palatial to me,” said the thief, peering…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
2)
…up at the grim battlements.
“Chalices have different standards than we do,” the bard sighed. “To a metal cup, even an enchanted, self-aware one, having an entire castle to yourself is…luxury.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
3)
“The deaths of all intruders thrown in, extra, I suppose,” the thief replied, still looking up.
“You hold a rather bleak outlook on life, friend,” the bard replied, to the suddenly-fleeing thief.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
4)
An instant before a large section of wall fell, flattening him.
The thief watched it ratchet back up into place with a rattle of mighty chains. A ghostly voice boomed from the castle: “I HATE bards.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
5)
“Ah, so we’re on the same side,” the thief called. “I’m here to try to find the vault of the sleeping princess; any chance of that?”
“Make me an offer,” the castle boomed.
The thief beamed. “We’re going to get along fine.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
1)
“Some of them,” said the fighter, pulling a skewer of roast ground-rat out of the campfire to see if it was cooked yet, “can kill you with the touch of their finger. Finger of Death, they call it.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 17, 2018
2)
“Finger of Doom,” corrected the cleric. “Finger of Death is for those who embrace and revel in evil.”
The fighter shrugged. “Dead’s dead; I care not what they call it.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 17, 2018
3)
“Ah, but kings and barons deciding if they’re going to execute you do,” said the wizard. “One man’s foul murderer is the next man’s staunch defender of the realm.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 17, 2018
4)
“And which do you prefer to see yourself as?” the thief asked slyly (the thief asked everything slyly).
It was the wizard’s turn to shrug. His reply made the fighter nod approvingly: “Depends who’s paying.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 17, 2018
