A Blink Dog can teleport “along with any equipment it is wearing or carrying”…if a saddle is strapped to the dog and a goblin is strapped in that saddle, can the goblin teleport with the dog?

One thought on “A Blink Dog can teleport “along with any equipment it is wearing or carrying”…if a saddle is strapped to the dog and a goblin is strapped in that saddle, can the goblin teleport with the dog?

  1. D. Walker says:

    It’s just such staggeringly dumb logic.

    If the argument was that there is a limit to the size, weight, mass, physical composition, etc, of what can be transported, that’d be one thing.

    But the argument is literally “If it isn’t written down in the “Equipment” section of the Player’s Handbook, it doesn’t count”, which is utterly idiotic.

    Consider the following:

    A blink dog has a Strength of 12, meaning it has a carrying capacity of 180 pounds, and can “push, drag, or carry” up to 360 pounds.

    If you load 360 pounds of “Equipment” onto a blink dog’s back, it CAN carry it – the only side effect is that its speed drops to 5 feet. And of course, since a blink dog’s teleport doesn’t require it to use any of its speed, that doesn’t matter.

    So let’s consider what sorts of equipment loads a blink dog can handle.

    An empty barrel weighs 70 pounds. You can stack FIVE BARRELS on top of each other on the back of a blink dog, plus another 10 pounds of rope to tie it all down, and the blink dog can teleport that without any problem at all.

    A 10 foot ladder weighs 25 pounds. You can stack FOURTEEN LADDERS on the back of a blink dog, with the aforementioned 50 feet of rope to secure it, and the blink dog can teleport without issue.

    If you find a way to balance it, you could lash the ladders together end to end and create a giant super-ladder that reaches 140 feet (minus overlaps for bracing) straight upward into the sky, and the blink dog could teleport.

    You could buy TWO CHARIOTS and tie them onto the back of a blink dog, and it can still teleport somehow – as well as still attack enemies, grapple enemies, dodge fireballs and other Dexterity save effects, etc, WITHOUT DISADVANTAGE.

    But if a 40 pound Gnome with another 40 pounds of gear tries to ride the blink dog’s back using a saddle, the blink dog will teleport out from under them?

    HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE?

    “But wait!”, you might be saying. “Maybe the issue is that you can only teleport non-living things!

    WRONG! Mounts and Other Animals are categorized in the Equipment section!

    Yes, that’s right folks – you can strap a live pony onto the back of a blink dog, and it will teleport along with the blink dog with no problems whatsoever!

    And if you cast Enlarge on the blink dog, now it can teleport with an entire wagon, a warhorse, or a camel strapped to its back! But still not a Gnome!

    THIS RULING IS INSANE

    Sometimes, rules are just bad! Just admit that they’re wrong! You don’t even have to errata them, if you really don’t want to – just admit that they’re BAD RULES and stop trying to defend them as if they were remotely rational!

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